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babesview1
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Frog Prince/Princess
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| Joined: 25 Mar 2006 |
| Posts: 691 |
Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 10:13 pm Post subject: What to do about child who is aggressive... |
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This weekend, I went to a child's birthday party of a client of mine. Her son just turned 1. At the party was another little boy who is 2, also a client of mine . The 2yo's behavior at the party was horrible!! He is normally a challenge when he's here in my daycare, but at the party he was unbearable!! He was chasing the other children and smacking at them, he knocked the 1yo down at least 3 times on purpose, he was punching, hitting and throwing paper plates etc... When it came time to open presents, the 2yo threw a hissy fit because no one would let him take the toys to play with them. I felt really sorry for the dcm, it got to the point where she didn't know what to do with him anymore! She did her best to intervene and correct him as things happened, but he was just impossible to be around. I felt really bad for the 1yo who took the brunt of his aggression today!
I am really afraid that the other parents will think their children are in danger being around him and will start to say things to me about his behavior. I have spoken to this family about this issue and for the most part the dcb has improved. But today, in front of everyone there, he was just impossible.
How do I address this issue if parents say things to me or need reassurance that their child is safe. |
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broper
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Frog
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| Joined: 13 Jul 2007 |
| Posts: 254 |
Location: Georgia
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Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 1:28 pm Post subject: |
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I think that a lot of parents know that children can get raelly hyped up at situation out of their norm, especially sweet filled occasions such as birthday parties. If I had any questions about the child's behavior, I would say that the behavior was out of the norm. I would also add that while the child is in your care, you are able to control the situation. I would also ensure parents that if this child or any other child becomes aggressive to a point of being out of control that you will send the child home for the day and if it is a parent the child will be removed from your care.
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Brandy |
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babesview1
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Frog Prince/Princess
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| Joined: 25 Mar 2006 |
| Posts: 691 |
Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 1:51 pm Post subject: |
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Well, I can tell you this- if he acts like that at my house for more than an occasional bad day- he will be gone!
He seems to take out his aggression on the 1yo. I don't know why- maybe because he's an easy target? I don't know. The 1yo is so sweet and good natured. I hope this doesn't turn him into a monster!!
This 2yo is just a bully. He has to have his way all the time and he likes intimidating the other children. Sometimes I just wish one of the other children would just haul off and smack him when he does stuff like this!! |
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Lori
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Frog
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| Joined: 19 Aug 2008 |
| Posts: 392 |
Location: Papillion, Nebraska
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 2:17 pm Post subject: |
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Last year I had 3 boys (one set of twins and another boy) who were toxic together. The twins came every day, but Subby was 2-3 days a week not the same days. The moms signed them up for soccer together and it was a disaster! They kept joking that I needed to come to the games to get the boys to behave!
When you have the kids in your home you control the behavior and I think most parents recognize this. They do things (and eat things) for us that they wouldn't do or eat at home.
In my experience, most bullies pick on weak or mild mannered children.
I know what you mean about hitting them back!!! I sometimes say "when kids get hit back they sometimes stop hitting" to the victim. I don't tell them to hit back, I just plant the idea. I will also explain (if they hit back) that hitting hurts and we ALL need to stop hurting each other. The victim does not get in trouble. This has worked and backfired for me!!!
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Make a difference in the life of a child |
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nicole_mcclure_2005
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Tadpole
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| Joined: 01 Oct 2008 |
| Posts: 9 |
Location: Kingman AZ
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Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:14 am Post subject: ahhh one of those huh |
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When I get a child that hits, kicks, picks on others I talk to the parent give them a warning, and for the kid he gets an awful lot of time outs, and if thats not working mom comes to get him. I know its hard to kick someone out but its not fair to the others  hope i helped some how.... if i even did this part right... |
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babesview1
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Frog Prince/Princess
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| Joined: 25 Mar 2006 |
| Posts: 691 |
Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 2:30 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Nicole!
They did eventually leave. We had one day in particular that was really bad and that was the turning point. I told the parents what happened and what I needed them to do (I suggested they have him evaluated for behavioral issues- it was that bad) And they made the decision to leave on their own and find a nanny. But, I let them know that his behavior wasn't going to be tolerated anymore. |
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Missy
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Tadpole
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| Joined: 26 Apr 2008 |
| Posts: 46 |
Location: pennsylvania
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:23 am Post subject: |
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| I'm having the same issue. Only it's not one of my dc kids. It's my 4 yr old. She pushes, yells, shoves at her 2yr brother and the 2 dc kids. I don't know why she's doing this. She's been like this for 2-3 months. nothing has changed in our life. No unexpected changes or anything. I've tried time-outs, taking away her leapster or video time. But nothing works. I try talking to her, asking what's wrong. and that I can't help her unless she tells me. but she gives me nothing to go on. I'm really frustrated. My son is a big boy for 2 and he doesn't always take it from her. He will push her back. But the2 dc kids are small for their ages, and I don't want them to get hurt. She will be starting preschool this fall and she did say she doesn't want to go. I'm not sure if that's it or not. the preschool is run out of the church we go to, so it will be in familiar place. I don't know what to do. |
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babesview1
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Frog Prince/Princess
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| Joined: 25 Mar 2006 |
| Posts: 691 |
Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:51 am Post subject: |
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| When my daughter was 3, I started my daycare from home. I experienced the same issues with her and the dc kids. I never did get a clear answer as to why she was behaving the way she was. But, I just chalked it up to jealousy. I think she was just extremely jealous of my attention to the other children and was lashing out. Perhaps your daughter is just now starting to feel this way also. |
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Missy
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Tadpole
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| Joined: 26 Apr 2008 |
| Posts: 46 |
Location: pennsylvania
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 12:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Maybe. But I've been doing childcare for little more than a year and I've had the same 2 kids the whole time. Maybe it's just a phase. I don't know. |
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Lori
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Frog
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| Joined: 19 Aug 2008 |
| Posts: 392 |
Location: Papillion, Nebraska
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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I started my daycare when my middle child was born. My middle child and my youngest (now 3) started to hate the daycare when they were 3. It is a horrible phase. They don't understand that if the daycare kids don't come here, I have to go to work and he has to go to daycare somewhere else.
He is jealous of two kids who want to sit in my lap frequently. He doesn't seem to mind the babies though.
On Sundays though, he always wants to go downstairs and wait for the kids to come.
Next year will be better for him because he is going to preschool and will be a "school ager".
Hang in there Missy!!
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